Beware of those who say they fully understand you, but their actions suggest otherwise. Those are the people who see your vulnerability and yearning to be understood and they take advantage of it.

Beware of those who claim they will always be there, but whenever you need something they have something imperative to do. Those are the ones who publicly want to be viewed as supportive, but in turn aren’t truly supportive at all.

Beware of those who claim to be a caregiver, but someone else is always taking care of your needs. Those are the ones who seek self gratification and desire accolades for being a great person when great is no where in their name.

Beware of those who say they love you, but take out their frustrations of your illness on you. Those are the ones who will shout to the world your praises in your presence, but complain behind your back to whoever will listen and always find a reason to bring up how sick you are to demean you.

Beware of those whose words don’t match their actions because their behavior has the potential to stress you out thus contributing to how ill you currently are.

Beware of the wolves in sheep’s clothing. They mean you no good, no matter how hard they try to prove to themselves they have good intentions and want the best for you.

Why am I telling you to beware of these people? I am telling you because I have watched so many cry, stress, become depressed and even kill them selves because they believed someone was truly in their corner and they found out otherwise.

Don’t wait until it’s too late to recognize the signs from these people. Reality is, red flags have been going up constantly, but you have been ignoring them. Yet you are wondering why you are flaring more, feeling more anxiety and even start feeling like isolating yourself from the world.

Beware of the warning signs. They say “caution ahead,” and it is up to you if you decide to heed the warning.

We as spoonies, go through different things daily with our health so we definitely don’t need anyone or anything adding to our already tough life.

Do you realize how important you are? You are your number one priority and you must treat yourself as such! When you view yourself as the queens and kings you are, then you will not accept anything less.

Reevaluate the people who are around you and make sure these people are truly lifting you up, supporting you fully, cheering you on, being helpful without gain, showing you by actions how important you are and how much you are loved.

You deserve that plus more my Loves! Please don’t ever forget it or allow someone to tell you otherwise!!! Beware!!!!!

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No portion of this article may be duplicated in writing or in any other recorded format without permission

I need you to do something for me! After reading the next sentence, close your eyes and let it sink in!

YOU HAVE AN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE THAT IS NOT CURABLE!

Did it hit you yet? Let me help you understand!

You have been diagnosed with an illness. The illness will never go away with any type of medication. The illness can be fatal. The illness will change your life and every aspect in it. The illness can take away your mobility. The illness can isolate you from friends and family. The illness can keep you from functioning as a regular person in society. The illness can provoke people to talk about you. The illness can destroy your social life. The illness can send you into depression. The illness can land you in the hospital. The illness can induce other illnesses. The illness can cause you to have surgeries. The illness can take your independence. The illness can take control and end your life.

Unfortunately, this is the reality of myself and many others. Be careful how you handle us because no matter what is going on in the world, everyday the Lord sees fit for our eyes to open, we face this cruel reality. Be patient with us because although you can jump right up and go, the illness doesn’t always allow us to. Be understanding because there will be many days we can’t get up at all. Be thankful for every moment you have with us realizing it could be our last. Be cognizant of how you speak to us because our minds are always occupied by our reality and the things you say have the potential to send us off the deep end. Be courteous to us realizing we are trying all we can to be the best we can be. Be proactive and prepare yourself for the unknown, just as we have to. Be considerate of our needs and try not to minimize things that are important to us because that thing just might be the reason we are fighting for our lives.

Yes, we are fighting for our lives. We fight morning, noon and night, 24/7 to live. We fight to have some type of normalcy. We fight in hopes that one day there will be a cure. We fight to prove to ourselves and you that we can make it! We fight our physical illness, mental warfare, emotional distress and spiritual weakness daily in order to keep running the race. It is an exhausting job, but we do it.

As you go through your days, be reminded of our reality and make a conscious choice of how you can positively affect our lives.

If you can’t be a positive influence, remove yourselves from our lives so you aren’t the reason we fail!!!

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No portion of this article may be duplicated in writing or in any other recorded format without permission.

There is a saying that says, “The truth shall set you free!” What does it set you free from you ask???

The truth sets you free from the misconceptions of the world. The truth sets you free from the assumptions others make about you because you have chosen to be silent. The truth sets you free from the oppression of societies expectations of what being sick looks like. The truth sets you free from your false facade you manage to uphold to save face. The truth sets you free from the bondage of others as well as yourself. The truth shall set you free!

The truth is, you are fighting to survive daily despite how “good” you look. The truth is, putting on makeup and dressing up is a part of your routine to hide the dark circles under your eyes from exhaustion and to hide the fact that underneath those clothes are many scars. The truth is, you will use anything to distract others from seeing the “real” you. The truth is, you don’t want them to see you for your illness and pity you. The truth is, if you push hard to be the same as them, then you have a lessened risk of them walking out your life because you are chronically ill. The truth is, you rather put yourself through hell just so you can avoid being judged. The truth is, you feel inferior to all around because they can do more than you. The truth is, the highlight of your day is your support system coming home because loneliness and self pity has the potential to drive you insane. The truth is, you are a hot, emotional wreck that is hanging on by a thread. The truth is, you worry about yourself, but you can’t mention it because you are afraid of people’s reaction to your state of mind. The truth is, this life is not for the faint of heart. The truth is, you are not ok and you need support in order to be prosperous.

That means the people surrounding you must be understanding and be open to researching your condition. That means they have to be patient with you realizing each day presents itself differently. That means they have to be empathetic at all times no matter their mood because that one moment when they are not empathetic, can be the moment you break. That means as tired as they are from their day, they have to take the time to be attentive to you understanding their presence has been what has driven you to make it through each day. That means that they have to make you a priority realizing that is a big deal to someone who feels abandoned and alone. That means they have to step out of their comfort zone and be whatever it is that you need them to be. That means that they have to truly care about you and become selfless. That means they have to be cut out to handle such a tall task.

The truth is, being connected to someone with a chronic illness is an important and trying job, but there are many who choose to be those things and more.

The truth is, you deserve a great support system because despite your illness you are everything you ask of others and so much more.

If someone does not treat you the way you should be treated and does not support you, you don’t need them.

Just because you have a chronic illness does not mean you have to settle for being treated like a burden and chore. You don’t have to take judgements or put downs because you can’t do or need more help than the average person.

There are some people out there who are willing to be everything you could ever ask or imagine and you deserve to have those people in your life.

The truth of the matter is, you need to realize your situation is not your destination and you want the best people to make it to your destination with you! Stop allowing people to make you feel less than because you are ill. Take back control over your life and choose who is worthy to be a part of it!!!

The truth is, not everyone can go where you are headed. Reevaluate your truth and allow it to set you free!!!!

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No portion of this article may be duplicated in writing or in any other recorded format without permission.

Dear You,

I see you suffering and I’m here to help!

I know there is a sense of loneliness no one wants to talk about. I know there is a sense of abandonment no one wants to express. I know there are undeniable highs and lows, anxiety and depression everyone wants to act like doesn’t exist.

Well, the reality is all of these things can be present when living with a chronic illness.

It is a lonely road when the persons around you don’t feel what you feel. They don’t awake daily exhausted and riddled with pain. The don’t have to dig deep to the depths of their souls for the strength to even get out of the bed. They don’t understand the torment and defeat you feel when you watch others do what seems to be the most simplest of things. They don’t understand that just by them not truly understanding, it drives you into a sunken place where you feel helpless and choose to conceal all real emotion because you know they just won’t get it.

People can go and come as they please and you are stuck in the house, in the bed or in the hospital. Their outings consist of beaches, travel, cookouts, physical activities, etc. while your outings consist of many doctor’s visits. They are able to get in their vehicles and go wherever they want, while you are left watching them leave through the window. They have careers and jobs to go to while your job consists of working with your limbs to be able to move properly and take a shower. They can go to the gym, while your exercise consists of moving from the bed to the bathroom and around the house.

You put on a smile to hide the tears! You never want anyone to see how miserable you truly are. You smile to hide the pain. You smile to camouflage the depressive state you are in and the anxiety of worrying if you can keep up the facade.

They want to do things because they aren’t sick and you try your best to push to go despite how you physically feel so they can have some what of a normal life. You pay for it by worsening symptoms that you can’t express because it can cause conflict.

You want to be normal. You want to be able to go on adventures. You want to work. You need independence, BUT this debilitating chronic illness has changed your entire life!

Now what? You spend each moment trying to figure out how you can be half of who you used to be and how you can make sure life is the same for all around you. The reality is, life will never be the same so you have to find solace in your new found reality.

Your relationships with your family and friends have to be different in order to live successfully together! Some can’t handle the change so they leave, while others think they are coping and supportive all while making you feel like you are a burden and life for them has become boring and something they truly don’t want. They didn’t sign up for this, but they don’t want to seem like they aren’t compassionate so they stick around; however, you can read from all expressions that they aren’t truly happy.

Burden becomes your identity and anxiety takes control of your days, UNTIL you make a serious change in yourself!

You must find your worth and realize you are NOT your disability! You are special, handpicked because you are strong enough to handle the task of fighting this battle. Your battle will help the lives of others going through their own battles. You have to realize people will only view you how you view yourself. If you view yourself as a burden, then others will see and treat you as such. There will be some you will have to let go because they aren’t trying to understand and their ignorance is more of a hindrance to you than your illness is to them. Although you feel alone, you are surrounded by many who are dealing with chronic illness too! Tap into your support groups and open up and talk to people. Stop hiding and display the Warrior you are! Own your truth and share your story! You may still have days of loneliness, abandonment, anxiety and depression, but they will become less and less! Surround yourself with positivity and keep fighting! You can do it! In fact, WE WILL WIN TOGETHER!!!!

Love,

Angel 👼🏽

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No portion of this article may be duplicated in writing or in any other recorded format without permission.

As I fight this migraine, nausea, dizziness and fatigue, I have to remind myself of who I am!

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I am a warrior! “I laugh at the face of danger!” (I hope you know what movie that line is from!!!🥰)

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No matter what each day brings, I stand ready to conquer it!!!

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I put on my armor (armor of God and things I need health wise like sunscreen, hats, shades, long sleeves, port, oxygen, etc.) and I proceed to fight my battles.

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No one says it’s going to be easy, but I am strong, fierce and I will never back down!

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I am a Warrior of Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, GI Bleed, and so forth!!! Hear me Roar!!!!!

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#lupus #lupusflare #lupusawareness #lupuswarrior #lupusfighter #lupusadvocate #lupusadvocacy #lupusadvocates #fibromyalgia #fibromyalgiaawareness #potssyndrome #fatigue #chronicpain #chronicillness #autoimmunedisease #spoonie #spoonielife #spoonies #spooniesupport #spooniefamily #spooniecommunity #angelslupusjourney

I don’t look sick, but I am.

I don’t look tired, but I am.

I look healthy, but I have many medical conditions.

I look normal, but I’m far from it!!

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Reality is, everything you think I am, I’m not and everything you think I’m not, I am.

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Don’t try to judge me based on what you see because living with an invisible disease is so deceptive!!!!

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We fight for our lives daily, hourly, second by second! We look like we are just resting, but our bodies are on hyperdrive fighting as hard as it can!!!

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We are tired from the time we get up until the time we go to sleep. We want to do so much, but our bodies limit us without regard to our thought process or wants!

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We deal with the punches and smile every step of the way!!!

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We rather cry in private than show our vulnerability and pure exhaustion!!!

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Stop comparing yourself to us because we are not the same!!! Stop judging us and simply love and cherish each moment you are able to spend with us!!!

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We are Warriors, Fighters, Hero’s and it is a gift that you have the opportunity to know and love us!!!

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#lupus #lupusflare #lupusawareness #lupuswarrior #lupusfighter #lupusadvocate #spoonie #spoonielife #spooniesupport #spoonies #spooniefamily #spoonielove #spooniesisterhood #spooniecommunity #fibromyalgia #fibromyalgiaawareness #potssyndrome #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #angelslupusjourney

Hey All!!!!

As you all know, I have been nominated for 5 WEGO Health Awards!!!! Yay!!!

You literally have 2 days left to endorse me in all 5 categories!!!

If you have not, please click the link below and select the “Endorse” button under my picture!!!

Thank you in Advance!!!

https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/16072