Time Heals All Wounds

I have heard this saying all of my life and have found myself telling myself this in order to get through many things. To many, this saying is true; however, in my now older opinion this saying can’t be further from the truth.

It is my opinion that your wounds will never be fully healed. Life truly makes sure of that. Sometimes, life takes every opportunity to throw salt in the wound opening it back up.

Don’t get me wrong, time does help to diminish the sting of the wound, but the scar will always remain as a reminder. The wound might even still be tender and sore because it isn’t completely healed on the inside. We will always be reminded of our wounds and although they may sting less, they still cause some pain and discomfort. How could we ever forget?!

We are human and we can’t always control what our minds go back to. There are things that trigger those memories. It could be a date, a smell, something someone says, looking at tv, etc. Again, how could we ever forget?!

This has nothing to do with forgiveness. This is solely about the fact that we will never forget. No matter how we try to cover it up or camouflage it, our wounds and scars will always be there. We can never forget.

While you are waiting for time to heal your wounds, lick them for as long as you like!!!! Take as much time as you need for the sting to diminish. It will diminish over time, but it will never fully go away! The wounds and scars are a part of you and your lessons learned make you the person you are today!

I must say you are an amazing person, so I thank God for your healing wounds!!! I’m thankful that they aren’t open wounds anymore and you are in your healing process. They may never go away and you may always have a scar, but now you have a story to tell to help someone else who is going through. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your wounds and scars. Time might not heal your wounds, but your story just might heal some broken hearts and save some souls. To God be all glory!

I thank God for using my wounds and scars to help others! Time is diminishing the sting, but the memory has empowered and enabled me to help people who have just been wounded as well as those trying to cope with their scars.

Time may not heal all wounds, but it sure has matured me into the woman I am today. I now know how to handle my wounds so I can pass my experiences on!!!

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Identity Crisis

When first diagnosed with Lupus and many other chronic illness, we feel that the diagnosis strips us of our identity. We are no longer the same. It doesn’t matter that you are physically the same person today as you were yesterday prior to the diagnosis. The truth of the matter is, those words, “You have …” changes your entire life.

You begin to question what this diagnosis really means. You have now been handed something that will never go away and you have to learn to live with it. You no longer have a name; instead you are patient 1589523. You are recognized by your patient record number. When people describe you to someone else, the description is no longer 5’8, 188lbs, brown hair and blue eyes. Your description is now that girl/guy that has that disease. You aren’t able to do a lot of the things you used to do, so you have no idea what you even like to do that is feasible.

What do I like? Wait, who am I? What happened to me? This is not who I am and I don’t have any idea how to go back and be who I once was.

I do know that because I have no idea who I truly am, I am now down and depressed. My life will never be the same and I’m not sure if I will ever be anything remotely close to who I used to be.

Please allow me to help you with this as 21 years ago I went through the transition of realizing who I once was is not who I currently am.

Let me start by sharing with you an important tidbit to keep in the forefront of your mind as you embark on the journey of finding yourself. First and foremost, your feelings of disbelief, confusion, despair, etc. are REAL and VALID. You are entitled to these feelings, so never allow anyone to tell you otherwise.

The question still stands though; Who am I now? Since I’m not who I used to be, how do I find myself again?

You must first truly understand, reality is your old self is gone. You will never be who you once were. Stop trying to be that person. You are only doing yourself an injustice and blocking your blessing of newness.

What am I talking about? I’m glad you asked!!!

You now have the opportunity to be a new and improved you. Yes, even with the struggles of Lupus. You just have to identify your new normal. This is not a negative thing, so change your mindset and perspective so you can prosper. Find some things you are able to do now and capitalize on them. Make a conscious decision to find something positive to focus on daily in the midst of the pain, confusion and negative feelings you may be experiencing.

Let’s be real here!!!! This doesn’t just happen over night and I don’t know one person who has truly mastered finding their new normal. As they navigate through life, they still have setbacks, breakdowns, etc. We are all human and we all are a work in progress, but we WILL identify who we are with our illnesses and succeed in life.

You don’t see it?! Well let me show you…

You see the old you may have been strong, but the new you is stronger. You face things daily others could never handle. You are resilient no matter how you may internally feel because you haven’t given up when so many would if they were in your shoes! You are already well on your way to realizing who you are now. The old you may have stood strong on your beliefs closing yourself off because you didn’t need any help, but the new you is open to research and finding what’s best for you. Your openness to finding what works best for you, will catapult you into a bright future. This future may be better than you could ever imagine.

You will succeed as the new you! Let me repeat that, YOU WILL SUCCEED AS THE NEW YOU!!!

I implore you to redefine who you believe yourself to be and walk in the great, powerful, mighty warrior you are today!!!!

You may have lost the old you, but you found a new you that is SIMPLY AMAZING!!!! The new you can accomplish anything!!! Your determination alone, will help you overcome the worst of times!

You know exactly who you are!!! Identity Crisis Aborted!!!! All you have to do is embrace it and walk into your New Identity and watch how your life changes for the better!!!!

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The Eyes

The eyes tell a story! No matter if you are smiling or not! Your eyes are still speaking.

What are they saying?

For some they tell of a long day, hard past, loss and loneliness.

For others they tell of how they are feeling in that moment. It may be the external circumstances they are in or their internal struggle.

What do you think my eyes are saying in these pics?

I’ll tell you!!! They are saying I’ve dined sufficiently over the last few days and I’m still sluggish from the events of the week. They are telling you that I’m not feeling my best, but I’m determined to keep going. I will never give up!!!💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

What are your eyes saying today???

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The Day After The Day After

Today is the day after the day after! If you don’t get it, go check out my last post!

Sometimes this day can be harder than the day before, especially if you have something you need to do. You see, you rested all day yesterday and your body started to recuperate and got really comfortable (as comfortable as someone who is always in pain and exhausted could be.) Today you had to force yourself to get up and start your normal regimen so you can have some consistency and order to this crazy life.

Here is how my day started:

1. I opened my eyes and told the Lord thank you for waking me in my right mind and asked him to take away the pain so I could at least sit up.

2. After 20min, I sat up, only to realize my hands, feet and legs were numb so I began to rotate them to get some feeling.

3. Once I got some feeling, I had to bend my legs back and forth and do my Exercises per my normal routine.

4. Then I could finally go get in the shower.

The list goes on….

Reality is, it takes all we have and who knows how many spoons to just get up and ready on a regular day, but after an event, it’s even harder.

I’m not telling you this for your sympathy. I truly want you to understand us and our bodies.

If you have a better understanding then you will be able to treat us accordingly, cut us some slack, put on some extra patience, love on us a little more and celebrate that we got up!!! That’s a victory and a half!!!💜💜💜

Hours later, I’m up and out of the house. I will sing at a funeral and then rest again, but y’all through all of the aches, pain, swelling, fever, dizziness, nausea and exhaustion, I GOT UP and I LOOK GOOD if I have to say so myself!!!💁🏽‍♀️

Have a blessed day!!!🥰🥰🥰

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The Day After

As spoonies the day after a big event no matter what it is or how much or little work you personally did, you are exhausted as if you ran a whole marathon!!!!

It isn’t so much the physical activity itself, it’s a combination of adrenaline, emotions, excitement and movement.

We are so excited to get out and celebrate with our family and friends that we just go as if we are well. Yes, we always remember we are sick because we feel the pain and still have our struggles, but in those moments those things seem less important since we are finally out among the well and are able to enjoy ourselves; even if it is for a short time.

We look forward to these occasions way before hand and we are so thankful when they arrive; however, the day after when the adrenaline has stopped running wild, we feel the immense impact of the day before.

Don’t get me wrong, we regret nothing and will do it again on the next holiday, but just be patient with us when we need the whole next day or a few days to recuperate!!!

We got to be semi normal for the day so don’t ruin it with fussing and telling us how we need to rest. Trust, we know, but just as you need these days with your loved ones, we do too!!!

It’s the day after and I have enjoyed my rest!😜

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What does Lupus look like?

What does Lupus look like? I’m glad you asked.

Lupus does not have a specific look. There are times you can’t physically tell that someone is fighting Lupus.

Sometimes we look ill, but other times we look okay; however, our bodies are attacking itself and fighting hard DAILY!

As the holidays approach, make sure you are sensitive, encouraging, understanding, loving and caring to your friends and loved ones.

No matter how they appear, they are still sick and fighting hard!💜💜💜💜

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Reality Check

Reality Check‼️‼️

In order to look the way I do in these pictures, I have to take all of the meds you see in the picture! The picture is excluding my infusions I give myself every other day and my injection 💉 I give myself weekly!

I look good right?! Yes I know, but it takes a whole lot for me to look this good!!!

Some days I don’t look good at all (today is one of those days.)

No matter the day, please be cognizant and pleasant to everyone you come in contact with. You never know what they face daily or what it took to get them to the place they are when you come in contact with them.

Stop assuming and making judgments based off of looks. You will probably be wrong in your assumptions almost every time!

This is my life daily and I bet you had no idea!💁🏽‍♀️

DON’T pity me, just be KIND to me and others!!!!🥰🥰🥰

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