How is she/he feeling?
How has their week been?
What is best for their health?
Those questions should be among the first questions you ask yourself before planning anything for your spoonie spouse. You see, we can’t predict how we will feel daily. Shucks, we can’t predict the next minute.
Does this mean you shouldn’t plan anything? No, it simply means when making your plans consider your spouse, their overall health, their desires, their known capabilities and then allow room for change if/when necessary.
What does your spouse like to do? Is it something that is feasible and if they aren’t up to it, can the activity be done at home? For example, although your spouse loves to go to the movies, if they are feeling poorly, bring the movie, popcorn, nachos, candy, etc. to them.
Be willing to compromise, make adjustments as needed without judgement, respect their limitations while capitalizing on their abilities.
Be sure to reassure your spouse that you love them regardless of their illness and the most important thing to you is spending time and being able to show them how much you adore them.
You won’t loose if you truly take your time to pay attention, research the illness for yourself, consider your spouses current state, recognize your demeanor can either positively or negatively affect your spouse so handle them with care, realize they don’t have control over the illness, understand that things can change swiftly and drastically, and above all else, shower them with love and support reassuring them that they are enough, illness and all!
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Angel’s Lupus Journey 