The Gamble

Now that I am home and in the bed, my adrenaline has stopped pushing me and reality has set back in. The truth is, traveling with a Chronic Illness is NO JOKE!!! Please allow me to explain how traveling affects us as a whole.

You see in the beginning of traveling and in preparation to travel, we are so excited. Yes, we pay close attention to our spoons prior to and we do what’s necessary to get us going. We tap into our resources and even get the proper help we will need for our travel. Our Care Giver/s are on board and we are truly ready to go! We are excited. Some would say overly excited, but you must understand why.

A major part is that our adrenaline has kicked into overdrive because we are ecstatic to get to where we are going and the body knows we need that extra push to get us there.

Another major part is we don’t truly have that many opportunities to travel. At least I don’t. This is not because we don’t have anywhere to go and don’t have a desire to travel. This is because most times we are so sick we truly can’t travel. Traveling doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for us! We have been dealt the bad hand so we stay right at home where our family, doctors and familiar hospitals are. The illnesses have truly placed us in a prison in our own bodies and programmed our minds into thinking it is best to stay home.

With this being said, when we brake from the bondage of ourselves, tap into our resources, turn on our adrenaline boost and tap in to our pure determination, we open our eyes, release the shackles and go!!!!

It’s so exhilarating and liberating! We can do it, but it’s a gamble. You see we have still been dealt the same cards as I spoke of before. We are still dealing with our Illnesses and all that comes with it!

We may be ready to go, but we truly don’t have an idea of how our bodies will react. We tend to just go with it and take our chance on the gamble.

This time I was able to do what I needed to do and although I felt bad, I pushed or should I say my adrenaline pushed me through.

Here is that gamble: After the major things I needed to do, my body decided to give way to the illness. I had to immediately lay and rest. My ability to walk became harder and harder and my legs felt like jello. I was riddled with pain and I was just hoping to get home soon. I have been in the bed since! It’s a horrible ending to a beautiful and promising beginning.

Would I do it again????? Certainly, as many times as I can. I love to travel and advocate. I would go tomorrow despite the gamble! I have no regrets!

I will take the gamble any day!!!! Would you???????

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