It is said all the time that I don’t look like what I am going through! As a matter of fact, I just said it yesterday! The truth is I will NEVER look like what I am going through and it is not about what clothes I wear, makeup I put on or anything aesthetic.
The reality of living with an invisible disease is, although our bodies are in full on war mode in the inside, you may not be able to tell we are fighting on the outside. It’s deeper than that though!
You don’t know where I’m going with this? Well, let me make it clear.
Some days when illness takes over and our bodies are fighting its hardest we do look run down, beat down, exhausted, weak, dark under our eyes, etc. It is true that we are not able to hide all of our scars, but no matter how many scars are visible or how we physically appear, the world will never see what we are truly going through!
You see, we don’t look like we are fighting mentally to get up and get dressed. We don’t look like we are so mentally exhausted that we have lost all track of time or reality at some points. We don’t look like at any moment we can have an emotional breakdown. You may not see how down and depressed we are because we awake daily with an ailment. You may not see the spiritual struggle we are having because we keep asking God to take away our illness and yet we are still sick. You may not see that we are only smiling to hide the pain. You may not see that we are so anxious about committing to anything because in the blink of an eye we may not be able to participate. You may not see that we are anxious to the point of nausea, worrying about our next doctors appointment. I could go on and on.
What most people don’t realize is that we are not only fighting physically daily, but we are fighting emotionally, mentally and spiritually all at the same time!
We look amazing!!!! On our worst days where you can see we are physically ill, we still do not look like what we are going through!!!
This battle is not for the faint at heart. This battle is for true Warriors and it is imperative to understand that just because we look “well,” doesn’t mean we are well!!! What it does mean is our strength is prevailing and what you see is a Warrior on the front line of the battle.
Don’t get confused by our outward appearance and automatically assume we are well or better because our illnesses affect us mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well as physically!!!
Don’t ever stop praying for us and sending positive thoughts because some of our hardest days are when we appear to be well on the outside!
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Angel’s Lupus Journey 